I usually don’t like to mention my intoxicate antics after nights out on the town on here for a few reasons. One, because no one wants to hear it (I don’t want to read it!). Two, I
might usually have done embarrassing things. And three, I may not remember it clearly. But since part of Bangkok’s culture is its crazy, out there, wild night scene, I feel I should include it on here. So here it goes…
I first met up with Clint in the evening at KFC (which has become our go-to meeting spot) and we went to go to a nearby bar on Khao San Road. Khao San Road is where all the “magic” happens in Bangkok. As a matter of fact, a lot of what happened in the movie The Hangover 2 was filmed here. It’s that same area where they found the smoking monkey! After a couple of drinks, some locals came by with a crate of scorpions…to eat! I didn’t have the balls to eat a scorpion just yet, especially since I was about to eat normal food soon. I did fetch myself a snazzy new wallet that another local brought up that has a map of Thailand on it that lights on fire. I needed a new one bad. Later on, we met up with Viola and went to this place:
They don’t I.D. here, that’s their motto. They are also known for their cheap buckets of Samsong Whiskey, Red Bull, and Coke. We had a few. Some people had too much.
The place was filled with mostly intoxicated backpackers, dancing to Gangnam Style and other upbeat songs I usually hear back home in the States. It was here I saw western guys holding hands with questionable looking Thai women, being led to alleyways and corners nearby. When I say questionable I mean a completely obvious ladyboy. You are gonna regret that in the morning! These guys had no idea! Or maybe they did? Who knows.
We were joined by two other random backpackers, who sat at the table with us. Their names are Leonoor (Netherlands) and Thom (Netherlands). They joined in on our fun! After a few buckets, another local with a plate of scorpions came. He held them right in front of my face. I picked one up. I just had to do it. “How much?” I asked. “Eighty Baht” he said. I held the scorpion in front of my eyes and examined it. It was a big thing, with a shiny black body, big pincers and a menacing looking tail that pointed right at me. It had everything still in tact: the head, legs, torso, everything except for the stinger of the tail which was venomous. It looked practically alive. I went in and started with the right pincer…and then the left.
Crunchy…a touch salty…
Then I went for the head and next the tail. Then the legs. The main part of the body was the toughest for me to bear, it was the fattest chunk. But eventually I powered through it as the others cheered and looked on. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. It was crunchy and didn’t have an extremely horrible taste. Definitely a mind game. I bought another scorpion but made Clint eat it. He too ate it like a champ. Soon Leonoor and Thom gathered the courage to eat one too! We’re disgusting individuals! Viola already ate one on her first outing in Bangkok!
So this is the part I didn’t want to mention. But have you ever heard of a ping pong show? Not this kind.
But in Bangkok, a ping pong show is a “show” where women with little to no respect for themselves do special tricks with a particular part of their body. Let’s just say it’s impossible for any guy to do these “special” tricks. None of us are into that stuff (promise!) but were so horrifically curious – like a car wreck or a house on fire, it’s a bad thing but you want to have a look. So we walked along Koh Sao Road where there were tuk-tuk drivers who were eager to take us to these shows. There was six of us piled into one tiny tuk-tuk, including a chatty random backpacker from Paris who wouldn’t stop telling me how much he loved the L.A. Lakers. We rode for about ten minutes to a different area in Bangkok, to the back of a bar where we paid the guy at the door 350 baht to get inside, plus a free drink. I didn’t need another drink as I was already pretty good, but hey I’ll take it! Inside the building was a crowd of about 40 or so tourists, backpackers, and locals surrounding a stage with four poles, one on each corner of the stage. The six of us managed to get front seats. We are here so might as well! From what I saw, I think my jaw was on the floor the entire time.
How can I explain what I saw without sounding too vulgar? Well, the first girl on stage pulled out a never-ending flow of Christmas lights and tempted to lasso it around customers. Ew! Then she went off the stage and the next girl came one, danced awkwardly for a bit, and then proceeded to pull out a banana and cut it in half with her womanhood. Then another girl came out, laid her back on the floor, blew up a balloon and shot a dart at it with the precision of a professional. Then another girl came out and gave us paddles to deflect the ping pong balls she shot at us from her thingamajig. Then another girl swallowed a whole bottle of water (not with her mouth) and “spit” it back out, but this time it turned into a dark brown color! What the?!? I feel pretty dirty as I write this, so I am going to stop the descriptions right here. But just in case you were wondering, these are some of the things they do:
I actually left the show early and sat outside while I waited for everyone else. I was all set! I couldn’t help thinking how I felt pretty sorry for those girls. What a degrading and miserable job! Definitely only go here though after
a few a lot of drinks!
After all of that “fun”, the night wasn’t over for us. We decided we wanted to go to a club at 3 am, so that’s what we did. We tore up the floor for a bit and then bounced. The others had an urge for balloons. Not any ordinary balloons, ones filled with laughing gas. These balloons were sold all over Khao San Road. What the heck is laughing gas? I’ve never heard of such thing, and I couldn’t fathom why anyone would pay for a quick fix of gas that made you laugh for a few seconds. Some in my group managed to find some cheap balloons, while I decided that I should find my bed. A task that proved to be a bit difficult when your hostel is the furthest away than anyone else’s and throw in the fact it’s 4 am and I was still pretty gone. I do remember seeing packs of hungry ladyboys whistling and making more smooching noises at me on the way back to my hostel. One proceeded to grab my hand as I walked and asked me to come to his/her bar. Then he/she threw a little hissy fit when I turned his/her offer down. On the way I saw more westerners getting cozy with obvious prostitutes and ladyboys along the alleys and corners. It’s still something that baffles the mess out of me. Dude, it’s a dude! It was a walk back to my hostel full of peculiar characters, odd happenings, and bizarre situations. Definitely, underlined all the things I’ve seen with my own two eyeballs tonight. It didn’t take me long to accept it and just take it for what it is. And that my friends, is Bangkok, Thailand.